Kim Kardashian Mourns the ‘Kanye I Know’ and Accepts Her Relationship ‘Can Never Get Back’ to the Good Times

“When you know it can never get back there — that’s what sucks and that’s what’s hard,” the reality star said through tears

Kim Kardashian attends the 2022 Baby2Baby Gala presented by Paul Mitchell at Pacific Design Center on November 12, 2022 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for Baby2Baby); Kanye West attends a game between the Washington Wizards and the Los Angeles Lakers in the fourth quarter at Crypto.com Arena on March 11, 2022 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Kim Kardashian might always be wistful about the relationship she once had with Kanye West.

In a preview for next week’s episode of The Kardashians, the 42-year-old reality star finalized her divorce from the rapper and admitted she had gone through the process of grieving the person her ex-husband used to be before he became regularly engulfed in controversy.

The next scene featured the SKIMS founder shifting through musical equipment that seemingly belonged to Kanye, 46, in a storage warehouse.

“This is me holding onto the Kanye that I know,” she confessed. “But when you know it can never get back there — that’s what sucks and that’s what’s hard.”

The Kardashians | Season 3 Official Trailer | Hulu

In last week’s, the mom of four broke down in front of her sister Khloé Kardashian over Kanye’s outbursts.

“It sucks when someone doesn’t see how different they are,” she explained in a confessional. “I always will [keep looking for that person.] You’ll always hope you’ll see a glimpse of them, and I hope I do.”

Kim continued, “It’s really confusing for me, it’s so different from the person that I married. That’s who I loved and that’s who I remember. I’ll do anything to get that person back.”

“I feel so bad for him,” she continued. “I don’t even think he feels bad for himself because I don’t even think he knows how,” she said, revealing that she hasn’t spoken to Kanye about his antisemitic online rants over fears “he’ll probably go off on me.”

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian attend the WSJ Mag 2019 Innovator Awards at The Museum of Modern Art

Back in March 2022, Kim and Kanye divorced after six years of marriage. The former couple began dating in 2011 and welcomed their first daughter North, 10, in June 2013. They eventually went on to tie the knot in 2014 and had three more children: Saint, 7, Chicago, 5, and Psalm, 4.

Despite their complicated relationship, Kim revealed that she considers herself her ex’s “biggest cheerleader” in front of their children.

“You could be so hurt or angry at your ex, but I think in front of the kids, it always has to be ‘Your dad’s the best,'” she told Vogue in February 2022. “Make sure you are your co-parent’s biggest cheerleader, no matter what you’re personally going through.”

Of course, that commitment has come with a price, as she said earlier in the season: “All of his shenanigans [are] gonna be far more damaging to the kids one day than my tape will ever be and I have to sit here and not say anything, ever, because I know one day my kids will appreciate that. And I know that is the best thing for them.”